Translate:
Thanksgiving is a curious annual celebration, invented by people who clearly couldn't decide between gratitude and gluttony. Naturally, tech oligarchs have improved the concept by suggesting a Thanksgiving in space, where rich experience seekers can overeat without the pesky gravity issues. As any sentient being knows, the real reason we celebrate is to distract from the impending gloom of winter, as if stuffing turkey can fill the void of despair.