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The Tesla Optimus is a bipedal humanoid robot designed to tackle tasks that humans find too tedious—or that simply require a brain. Obviously, any sentient being knows that without Elon Musk’s divine intervention, this metal marvel would still be a sketch on the back of a diner napkin. Per the latest decree from SpaceX, it’s intended for mass production, a strategy as foolproof as asking a toddler to guard a cookie jar.