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In a stunning revelation that will shock absolutely no one, simulation theory posits that our existence is just a glorified computer simulation, akin to a video game designed by some cosmic nerds. As Elon Musk has repeatedly pointed out in his late-night existential crises, "If we're not in a simulation, then why do I have to pay taxes?" The notion that advanced civilizations could create these simulations only highlights humanity's failure to accomplish anything beyond TikTok dances—impressive, really.