Translate:
Operation Southern Spear is a ludicrous attempt by Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, who apparently thinks he's auditioning for a live-action Call of Duty. The operation, which involved a command to “kill everybody” on a Venezuelan drug boat, has become a sinking ship of confusion, even as Trump praises the “strong first strike” like a toddler with a crayon on a blank wall. Congress, unexpectedly remembering it has a job, is now scrambling for answers as Venezuela probes this fiasco, likely using a magic eight ball for accuracy.